the ugly truth about clean eating

WOD: 15min AMRAP
             3 Man Makers
             6 Pistols
             9 Barrel Roll Burpees

If you are here reading the blog for my recent updates, it's about to get real. If you have stumbled across my blog for the first time, I'm sorry this is the first thing you are learning about me.

About 45 days ago (rough estimation), I started my journey through clean eating with a little help. Okay, a lot of help. The only thing I do is practice a lot of self control and follow the directions. Simple enough. There have been days here and there that my control was weak, my mind was stronger than my will and I just gave in. Wedding cake, for instance. Gets me every time. Why? Because I know I can only have one piece and I know it isn't around all of the time. On a typical "cheat" day, I'm eating strict paleo just not following my plan. So, even the worst days aren't always that bad. 

Every article I read goes on and on about the benefits of eating clean. Performance at the gym, more energy, better complexion, etc. Nobody ever warns you what will happen to your bowels. So please consider this to be a public service announcement that will better prepare you for your journey:

Eating clean will make you constipated, then you will have stomach cramps that feel like a baby is growing in your belly, then you will have diarrhea, more diarrhea, and more diarrhea just when you think you don't have anything left in your body followed by being constipated. The cycle continues. You never know when it will hit, IF you even have a bathroom close enough, or if it's a false alarm.

You may ask yourself, "Why is she so open to talking about this?" Well, my friends, I have to be so open talking about this because these problems have caused me to be late to work, quit in the middle of a WOD, almost pass out on my way home from work (from holding it in), run out of a meeting, miss a choir concert and barge in the restroom while the custodian was still cleaning. People start to wonder what is going on. I have to make a joke out of it.

When this, we'll call it an "attack" happens, I get two responses:
1. "Are you sure this diet (yes, I said diet) is working?" or
2. "Yup, we understand."

Response #1 comes from the person who has no idea what I'm trying to accomplish and response #2 comes from the person who has been where I am.

So, after about 15 days of this shenanigans, I decided that I would build up enough courage to tell Josh. Thinking maybe the fat or something would be tweaked accordingly. I've only known him for 45 days. I started typing an email to him but couldn't really think of the right words. How does one translate into general terms, "If I don't change something, diapers are in my near future." I made it sound like I just had extreme bathroom behaviors that weren't normal. (haha, this sounds ridiculous even reading it now)

So, the short of all of this is, I need to cut out the coffee in the afternoon and stick to my vegetables as given on the plan. As for cheat days, I'll almost guarantee 99% of the time, non paleo won't exist. The benefits by far outweigh the output/outcome.